By: Leslie Phillips, Alternative Medicine Practitioner, Founder of Lifey.Me

The Song of Songs which is Solomon’s celebrates the love between a woman and a man. The book is a love story that depicts the excitement and importance of courtship, the beauty of a wedding night and the first sexual encounter to lead to many, as well as the development of deep friendship and companionship.

This book is important, much like the others, as it gives us a glimpse of the love story God intended for each of us.

Scholars teach that God intended for the union of marriage to be one that provides unto one another; emotional intimacy, sensitive communication, delightful sexuality, profound companionship, common perspective, willing forgiveness, respect, integrity, security, and love’s devotion and renewal through all seasons of life.

It sounds ethereal especially when we live in a society that is constantly depicting the brokenness of marriage and fruitful courtship.

We live in a day where men and women alike often revert to manipulation and obsessiveness which leads to possessiveness. In the story of Solomon, his bride-to-be Shulamith did not need to manipulate Solomon as he was willing.

What does this mean?

When a man and a woman are willing- when they both seek each other, their love is the security as they look to the author of life to teach them how to love. When a couple is willing to put God first and honor him, he teaches mankind how to love in a way that endures a broken world, providing a sense of shelter for one another. They do not need to coerce one another.

A man is called to love his wife and a wife is called to respect him. The two go deeply in hand.

The courtship of the couple is an important stage because both parties have to be able to love and marry God first before each other.

The reason for this is because God will not accept idolatry. We cannot make the other an idol of the heart. When we make another an idol, we open room for obsession and possessiveness which only enslaves ‘self’ and God is a God that will not condone his children to be enslaved or addicted to anything or anyone- as he came to set us free through his son, Jesus.

It is only when we are willing to marry God first and to take that vow very seriously can we really experience and enjoy the love and commitment God intended for us. The word shows us that his way has always been fulfilling and it cannot be compared to any earthy view of love.

For women, it is important to understand the deep need built inside of you to be courted as you are a bride of Christ, when you are a woman who has accepted her title through the acceptance of Jesus and the repentance of sin- and as a bride of Christ, you deserve to be courted and taken seriously.

“Arise, my darling. Come away, my beautiful one….. you are absolutely beautiful my darling, with no imperfection in you.”

God is a romantic and he is madly in love with YOU. He yearns for your heart and your mornings and your nights, he longs for your calls, for your thoughts and dreams, for the deepest parts of you and his love is unfailing, always pursuing, never relenting and it is a testimony to the lengths love will go.

“My sister, my bride, you are a locked garden- a locked garden and a sealed spring. Your branches are a paradise of pomegranates with choicest fruits, henna with nard- nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the best spices. You are a garden spring, a well of flowing water streaming from Lebanon.”

The above passage speaks of ‘my sister, my bride,’ meaning that they are evenly yoked. A marriage is able to endure when two people are evenly yoked. You cannot be a pearl and throw yourself to swine, and you cannot be swine and properly care for a pearl- both parties have to share a commitment to God.

Commitment to God is far from boring, it is exhilarating, challenging, and incredibly fulfilling for his plan for us is always greater than the plan we could’ve imagined.

God warns us of religion, of religious corruption- yet many brides-to-be, many husbands-to-be has allowed religious trauma and hurts separate them from experiencing a deeper relationship with God.

God is not the church that hurt you. God is not the person who judged you. God is not the authority figure that abused their power.

The same people religious figures and structures judged are the ones God is over here calling home to be his brides and grooms. You see, we cannot earn that title, it matters not what we have done, who we have been- because we were already predestined to be loved and redeemed, we were already chosen before we were born.

The world’s view of dating, of sexual and emotional intimacy, and of marriage is leaving people emotionally bankrupt. We live in a generation where people fear and break commitments, where we keep going ‘next’ looking for the ‘perfect’ one yet seemingly unable to find them, because we live in a world where we trade our pearls for swine.

The book of Solomon shows us that He initiated and longed for communication and Shulamith responded in her desire to make love- this is symbolic in that the masculine is called to lead and the feminine is called to respond.

Despite popular opinion, God designed men to lead and for women to be supporting roles. When a couple honors God first in a very genuine way, the map for success is laid before them, and both are empowered in a supernatural way to stand the test of time. God’s word also debunks a popular myth- that women only seek communication and security and that men only seek sexual gratification.

In truth, Song of Songs which is Solomon’s shows us that both parties enjoyed loving communication and sexual expression. Sex was designed to be a spiritual covenant. When a woman gave herself, it was a man’s responsibility to care for her as he took her under his wings when he accepted her advances, and thus a man is warned to stay away from treacherous women.

Women, you cannot behave in a treacherous way and expect to be honored. It is so important that men and women alike take full responsibility for their sexuality and to understand the importance and power of creation and the role sex plays.

God loves you and it has always been his desire for you to experience his love in a transformational way and to experience it in the physical flesh- as God’s design shows that we are created for fulfilling partnership and it is an innate need because it is an extraordinary and beautiful gift.

“We love because He first loved us”- 1 John 4:19